i am insulted. someone just called me a clone. i told him to eat his hand. and i can see the confused look on your faces. for one, clone to me= typical girly girl with big eyes and long hair. throw in some hairdye, a tiny skirt, and the act cute factor and you get a clone.

and as you may be wondering what the hell am i talking about? well, look around. go on. look around you and tell me what are the girls wearing? what are they like. walk along the streets of orchard road and you get your answer. if you want your answer quick, take a walk around school from one end to the other. and by judging how small nyp is, it isn't difficult to come across a clone.

they all look alike aka the longhairbigeyes, they dress alike, and probably even sound alike! all walking carbon copies of one another. clones. yes, im probably sterotyping but what can i say? guys like them. guys don't just like them, guys love them. girly girls. yes i am a girl but well, not all girls are clones. i for one, can safely say that i am not a clone. it infuriates me to think that guys think girls are all the same. well, at least majority of the guys think that way.

i remember having a debate with one of my guy friends over lunch, a group of us girls and him, this one guy were having a debate over clones and how they are all the same and how different we are from them and blah blah blah. ha. now come to think of it, the results were damn funny lah. my friend, the guy, said that girls or rather clones from what we described were cute and sexy. WHAT?? cute i understand. sexy???? that seriously brings a whole new meaning to the word sexy man. and then there was another debate as to how he defined sexy.

acording to him, sexy= less cloth. if a girl wears shorts, or a mini, she's considered sexy. wait wait. shorts = sexy?? i will never wear shorts in front of him again. ever. my whole life, i've been wearing shorts to school and he didn't say anything until that time and all the girls at the table just burst out laughing. so if a maggie Q wraps herself up as a mummy, she's not sexy. doesnt matter if she's maggie Q cause its not sexy. shit him man. ha

after that debate, we went into cheers and stood at the magazine rack, pointing and laughing at the cover girls and what they wore. as usual, the bikini clad babes were defined as sexy according to him. why am i not suprised. hmmm... oh did i mention that he said he attracts gays more than he attracts girls? whahahaha he's so funny to laugh at. he and his weird logic. thank god none of my girlfriends are clones. they are all individual minded girls who don't give a damn as to what people think. especially that guy friend. =]

that aside, im almost done with the bestest book i've ever read besides memoirs that is. its called ' Ender's Game' by orson scott card. its sci-fi and i rarely read sci-fi cause it's boring. but this book, it's addictive. really. its about genius children who off to battles. and although it revolves around space and stuff, its as if the children are not kids at all. they talk and act like adults. the author got a lot of criticism apparently cause when adults read the book, they were furious at how he portrayed children to be like. no hint of childishness, innocence. but when the gifted children read the book, they wrote to him to say that this was exactly how they felt and how they thought. i love it. i love the battle scenes, i love the way he describes stuff, i love the plot, i love ender. so young yet so old. go read it. its really good.
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

im attached. offically for the first time in my life. and im.... well, i haven't really found the word to describe how im feeling right now. sad? well, happy is definately not one of the words i had in mind. have you ever heard of someone who is actually sad when they are attached???? well, welcome to my world people. and before you start thinking who that unlucky guy maybe... well, im not attached to a guy.

*gasp

jia wan is attached.. to a girl?

no. wrong again.

i'm attached to rock, sand, cement. i'm attached to a building, a company. yes i finally found out where i'm attached to for the next three months after fyp. and i hate it. from what i found out, yolk = overtime and having lunch late and web and scripting. did i not mention that i suck at scripting? does'nt matter if it doesn't involve flash. as long as there is some form of computer language that looks like (werkuhuihwe) (/werkuhuihwe) or onRelease( ){
gotoAndStop( );
}

i hate it and it hates me. shit. and for a moment, i still carried the hope of getting a company that allows me to shake leg and talk on msn all day.

i'm gonna die. so excuse me cause i'm gonna sit in a corner and sulk all day. i'm gonna wallow in self depression.

i probably shouldn't slam a verdict on it and say that i'll hate it and i'm gonna suffer and the next time you see me, i'll be ten pounds lighter. nope. but i'm also not gonna say that i'll enjoy my time there as well. maybe it won't be that bad and all that i can think of right now is that my other friend is probably feeling the same way as i am if not, worse.

so, we are both gonna sit in a corner and sulk all day. ha. no lah. we just have to take whatever we've got and make the best out of it. yes, i'm trying to make myself feel better. as for now, i shall freeze my arse off and when i get home, i shall indulge in ice cream.

anyway, ryan's out but it was kinda expected. i liked ryan. nevermind. i shall just continue watching ' so you think you shall dance' for i dunno what purpose.
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Thursday, May 18, 2006

right. i am currently still bored. mr andrew doesnt come down anymore so we could all just leave and not come back and he wouldn't know a thing. should i? or should i not? hmm..

i wanna sleep. i actually slept at 2 last night cause i was watching tv. like that's pretty late considering i havent been sleeping at that time since god knows when. and i can soooo see a slipper heading straight for me head cause certain people havent been able to sleep cause of the amount of assignments pilling up. yes. i am mocking at you. ha. well, all i can say is that i've been there, done that. i should be symphthizing. i know how you people feel, i know that it sucks not sleeping for three days straight and i know the feeling when you wanna get things done but just don't have the motivation. it sucks.

bordem leads to doing irralevant stuff like this:

yup. and no, the text above is not thai. its in eng. well, at least i did something. it still looks like its lacking something but i dunno what. hmm... whatever.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

bored, boreded, borededed. okie, i made that word up. its like put, putted putteded. now come to think of it, how come there isnt any past tense for the word 'put' ? like why isnt there a past tense for the word 'bored' ? eh. wait. bored is already in the past tense. im bored lah. i probably did all the surfing the is possible already. im like trying to get some portfolio works done but so far, no luck. no inspiration, no nothing. so basially, im rotting. as for my online portfolio, can't be bothered anymore so yeah.

shit man, i wanna go home and not come back for the week. never come back until its time to go to work. rotting at home sounds better than rotting in sch. hmm. whatever. i wanna go shopping but im broke. i wanna eat good food but im still broke. i wanna go get a tan but im too lazy to travel to where the sun is. whatever. im just gonna take it easy and laugh at least 100 times everyday. well, if a baby can do 200 times a day, why can't i do a hundred a day? yeah right. im lying.

i took this out of a song:

Have confidence
Stronger than the strongest man,
And determination
More resiliant than any metal.

Aim a bullet from the heart
at the cowardice,
And you can pull the trigger.

just thought it sounded kinda inspirational. right. im gonna find something to do. something that doesnt require much brain power. oh did i mention that my auntie is hospitalised? on mothers day. like everything bad is happening now. the doctors said that maybe she needed to be operated on. but then they said she had a fever so they had to call off the operation. and now, they say she doesn't need to be operated on. like wth?? so does she need to be operated on or not?? what if she didnt have the fever? then won't she be operated on for nothing? shit them lah. if you're not sure whether or not to operate then just shut the hell up lah. hospitals are never good.

i remembered that there was once when i had a fever and i fainted in sch so i was brought in by my teacher. note: i was young. very young. and then when the doctors took my temperature, they said i had a freaking high fever and it had to be brought down. how? by throwing freaking ice water on me. serious. and there i was screaming and crying and my mum was screaming at them to stop and they would stop for a while then threw water on me again. they kept insisting that that was the best way blah blah blah. i seriously wouldn't be suprised if i got pneumonia or something. so yeah. hopsitals suck and being stuck in the hospital sucks even more.
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Friday, May 12, 2006

alright. went out with the 0412 darlings yesterday and we had a great time. went to cine for dinner after which we had a hard time looking for a place to chill. walked around for quite a bit before finally settling down at coffee bean at forum, talking about everything, gossiping, bitching. yl is like the only one who can make me laugh that much. she is like the funniest person ever. miss them loads.. =]

was supposed to go out again today. we were like planning to go to china town, arab street, little india, like some heritage tour or something. but then, i guess not anymore. so here i am, at home on a public holiday, in front of the computer doing nothing interesting in particular. i wanna sleep and i should wash my penguin. he's getting dirty. whatever.

this week had its high and its lows, but now, im not couting on anything. im gonna live like i've never lived before, and take things one at a time. i sound like im dying. well, im not. just decided that i should do that cause i kinda miss the old me. shit im ranting and i should go back to sleep.

oh oh.. and i sooo have to mention this. i had a really wierd dream. i dreamt that my crazy neighbour attacked me. and im serious about the crazy neighbour. im not being mean, she's really bonkers. as in, she thinks that my family has like some sort of conspiracy against her or smthg. everytime we walk past she's start cursing at us, and there was once or twice when she came to my house and broke all the potted plants that my mum had outside then ran back into her own house. so now, my mum only has like two pathatic plants left. kinda scary cause her daughter had to come to apologise and told us that she wasnt taking her medicine that's why she's like that. hmm.. so anyway, she's scary and violent but for some funny reason, i dreamt that she attacked me with a stick.

it was really wierd lah. like she just suddenly came out of her house and started attacking me with the stick and then when the police was called in, she kept insisting that she didnt do it and ran away. and then when they asked me if she did it i can't remember what i said but yeah. now that i think about it, the dream doesnt really make sense. but then again, dreams never make sense. so yeah. i have a violent and crazy neighbour. and they say neighbours should live in peace.
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Monday, May 08, 2006

it was quite bad. car accident. head on colision with a bus. it was so bad his helmet cracked. he rides a bike by the way. it was so bad i didn't even get to see him. the adults got to see though, and my mum said that they wrapped up his whole body in white cloth cause it was damaged pretty badly. they only got to see his eyes. i dunno. its just scary i guess.

sat and sun was pretty much used up. he was buried almost immediately cause muslims don't really have the funeral thing at the blk. everything just happened so fast its almost like... i dunno.

anyway, i got back my phone. and everything inside is gone. its almost like having a new phone. all the stuff that i had stored inside is all gone, like it never existed. hmm.. some pple's numbers are also gone so yeah. start missing call me or spaming me with msgs people, so i can get your numbers again.
NOWHERE but | HERE

Friday, May 05, 2006

he's gone. just like that.

my uncle just passed away. and we didnt even get to say goodbye. he didnt even get a chance to see his kids cause he doesnt live with them. my auntie and him got a divorce a long time ago and although his name was a taboo in our family, he was still, once a part of our family(he married my mother's sister). so although i wasn't close to him i can't deny the fact that when my mother told me that she was rushing into malaysia with my sister to accompany my auntie to confirm that my uncle has really passed away, i was shocked. after the divorce, my uncle moved to malaysia so now, at 10pm at night, my mum, sister and auntie are going into malaysia to confirm that a member of our family has left us forever.

and guess what? im scared. and worried. i mean, life is like that fragile that when you least expected it, you may just get a phone callm, bringing you devasting news and it doesnt help that my family is going into malaysia in the middle of the night. like how safe is malaysia really? especially at night? i dunno. and im just rambling cause nothing is really working for me to take my mind of this right now...

i always joke that i havent attended a funeral in a long time and i seriously didnt mean it in any other way. i love my family way too much to have anyone of them leave me. but now, hmmm.. i can't say that anymore. i hate deaths. i hate parting...
NOWHERE but | HERE

it just hit me that in two weeks, it'll be my turn. my turn to face the terror. ATTACHMENT! god help me! i would gladly exchange my attachment for another three months of fy. seriously. due to my multiply sources, attachment = alot of OT and the best part is that you don't get paid. shit. and then there is the usual stuff like when you don't know how to do stuff and whatever shit. anyway, negative comments about attachment and im not looking forward to it. two weeks. TWO FREAKING WEEKS. hopefully i get a super slack company that requires me to just sit there and shake leg. ha.

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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

ignorance is indeed bliss.
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

we both know that things will not work out if you continue to be like that. leaving me when i needed you. dying on me when i urgently needed you. we loved each other so much even though it was just a short period of time. getting to know you better each day, discovering stuff i never knew about you. i was seriously getting addicted to you and it was best if we took a break away from each other. it will be hard. for the both of us but as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. and when we once again unite, i can almost say that i will treasure you more than before, i will love you more and you will serve me better. MY BELOVED.... PHONE.

ha. gotcha. don't bother calling or msging cause i will not reply. shou3 ji1 rang4 ta1 xiu1 xi2 yi2 ye4.
NOWHERE but | HERE